Center

If you’ve read this blog for a long time, you know I practice mindfulness. At least I try to practice mindfulness ……. meditation, general mind control, centering myself when I’m off balance – all of those things.

I can’t live outside my center. I am miserable when I’m in the midst of fear, anxiety, stress, depression, tension. But I, like everyone else, have challenges in my life.

I found my center in a couple of ways. Bhakti Yoga and reading scripture. I read Vasishta’s Yoga, a book I found while reading The Book of Secrets by Deepak Chopra. I highly recommend both books.

Bhakti Yoga is the yoga of the chanting of the Name. Chanting is effortless. It is singing with the heart fully open and I have been moved beyond belief while chanting. I am wrapped in the love of God, however you think of Him. I am what a lot of people would call a Hare Krishna. I don’t go to airports with tambourines, but I do chant the name and I do dearly believe in God.

I get thrown out of balance and this last two weeks has been one trial after another in the world-confusion. I think of it as a world-confusion because it, to me, has nothing to do with reality. Reality is Infinite Consciousness, nothing but Infinite Consciousness and nothing has ever been created nor does anything ever get uncreated. It is. That is all.

For whatever reason, my soul elected to come into this incarnation to work through my past, i.e. karma. I recognized my karma (past actions and memories) early on although I did not know until late in life how to truly deal with it. I lived in a fog, not understanding why I felt my mother was mean and didn’t love me, why my husband reminded me of my mother and even why I always had to fight things rather than accept how they are. I hope I’ve come out the other side of that and I pray my lessons from here on out will be easy ones.

There is impermanence in the world-confusion. People come in and out. Their souls do not, they remain the same. I hope to move out of this world-confusion and not be required to come back here to work through years of karma again. I want to be in a state of grace, totally wrapped in the love of God and beyond thinking of the duality of existence as it is right now.

We have a storm coming. All my work is done. We have food in the house. The car is parked at the end of the driveway and we are ready for the 18 or so inches of snow. While it’s snowing, I’m going to be centering in my Self, chanting the name, getting back to where I belong. In the moment. Only in the moment.

 

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