After the need to acquire everything under the sun died in me, thank God, I had some spare time. You know, not spending hours shopping or working so I could go shopping. I found some space in my home too, not taken up with clothes I don’t wear or things I don’t use.
I found that I’m happiest without clutter. Clutter on the outside makes me feel cluttered on the inside. But the best thing about not driving myself to distraction working so I could buy things? Time.
I chose time over money. Time to play, time to read, time to cook, time to talk with friends and family, just time. Time to meditate on the wonders of the world and time to think. No longer is my brain stuffed with thoughts of “I don’t want to be here.” I had that thought all day long in my last full-time job.
I would get up in the morning, reluctantly. I would have coffee, get dressed and head to the workplace where I would have to join in a meeting of our “team” and we’d have to do a ra-ra cheer after our supervisor pep talk. Eeee gods. It was horrific on my nerves. It was so pretentious, so phony, so disgusting. What is there to cheer about when you’re stuck on a phone all day long with unhappy, mostly nasty people? And then you have coaching sessions where the boss tells you how horrible you are. Nah. I chose time for money. I don’t have to listen to 30 years olds tell me how bad I am. Whew.
The other day, I was offered the chance to go back to one of the country’s largest outdoor outfitters. It didn’t work for me last year, they not being flexible about training classes and me being stubborn. It took me five minutes to trash the email telling me they wanted me back. I chose time over money. Frankly, I’m having too much fun to work any more.
My days have a certain rhythm now. I get up early, do whatever I need to do, visit DH if it’s visiting day, take a nap and read, cook supper and then watch TV and knit. Sometimes I sew, sometimes I clean, sometimes I do nothing slowly.
I found time. I wish everyone could.