Okay well now he’s a grown man who is a wonderful son ……… this week – on the 13th, my son will turn 33. He’s intelligent, creative, funny – hates routine and humdrum jobs and thinks for himself. He is marvelous.
He also points out situations that I tend to ignore …………. like his Dad being too sick for us to take care of at home any longer. And he’s determined. Whew. Really determined.
He’s always been “there” for me, since he was a little guy. I can remember how much fun I had waiting for him to come out of piano lessons. I got to sit on a park bench looking out over Lake St. Clair and watching ships go by heading into the Detroit River. I enjoyed that space and used it to plan my next creative endeavor. At that point, it was some sort of fiber art. These days I do clothes. And I love having inspiration.
We spent a lot of time alone together. His dad used to be a workaholic who worked 7 days a week for most of 15 years. We learned that our family was usually just me and him. We didn’t let it stop us after a while, we just went and did things on our own, not waiting for someone who promised to come home in time for this or that but usually didn’t. We caught on. Whatever was motivating his Dad, it wasn’t us. We were just there in the background, screaming for attention and not getting it.
Now, when I don’t feel like being creative, he’s the first one to tell me just to do it. He understands that the desire to create far outweighs my desire to plan or clean or work or do any number of mundane things. But I get distracted. I tell myself – you have to do this or that – do this or that and you can have a half a day to create – to plan – to make something. He tells me to skip the bathroom floor – just make something. And I laugh – really that floor’s going to be dirty because neither one of us want to clean!
So my baby will be 33. Unbelievable that the time has passed this quickly. Just 7 lbs of cute squirmy baby flesh who wouldn’t sleep at all at night for four months. A little guy so cute that people would stop us at the mall and tell us what a cute baby! We reveled in that. He’s still cute.
This child was so inventive. At the age of 3, he had life all figured out. I picked him up at day care and he told me that the kids beat him up all day. I asked him what his teacher did and he said she beat him up too. And I said – well are you telling me this so that I’ll quit work and you can stay home? And he said yes. Ha! Always one for knowing which buttons to push. Somehow the picture of his teacher beating him wouldn’t form in my head – the other kids, yeah I could see that. The teacher? No. The story went one step too far.
Because I worried incessantly about his safety, I taught him the proper uses of white light when he was 4 or 5. He meditates. I took care that he was brought up knowing he should do what HE wants, not what anyone else expects. He has done that. There are days I think when he would prefer the 9 to 5 and the security of work always being there – but not for long. Then he thinks about his next animation project and what he’s going to do and how he’s going to get it all to work and he’s back to himself. I think he’s adjusted to the fact that he has to work for himself – as hard as that can be sometimes.
And now there have been many conversations between us which end up with him sounding like he’s the parent now. And you know what? I appreciate the break. I can let him worry about himself and me, and I’ll just take a tiny little break until I feel like picking up that rock again and carrying it up the mountain ………..