And Where Have I Been?


Well, thanks for asking! Actually I’ve been here, squirming in my double fits of depression, waiting for it to lift so I can actually take any interest in the world at all.

Throughout all of this gloom, I have managed to keep the meditation going, so for at least 1 or 1.5 hours a day my mood shifts. And after the meditation it shifts to less of a gloom. Thank. God.

I had a doctor’s appointment on Wednesday and I’m complaining about being blue, everything aching, especially my knees and back and on and on and on. She’s my husband’s doctor too and we talked about how I felt having him in the nursing home, which is not good, dear reader, not good …… worse than I thought I would.

She told me to do some spiritual reading – alas, how can one do more? We talked about the Bhagavad Gita – her being aware that I follow the Hindu tradition and also since she is from India (so helpful to not have to explain anything!) – and my spiritual practice. I cried. She explained to me that I need to grieve. So I did.

And do. I talked about how he cries when I visit. She said to just let him cry – but not to stop visiting or go less often, because he spends all of his time waiting for me to come see him. So I won’t. I actually went to see him right after my appointment and I told him he could cry as much as he wants …………. I’m still going to come visit and there. So he laughed and we had a great visit.

I got home later in the afternoon and did my hour stint of meditation. When I got up, I had a message from my doctor’s office regarding my blood test. It will come as no surprise, since I bake continuously, that my cholesterol is high. Whoops.  But the big news? I have a serious Vitamin D deficiency which she wants to treat with prescribed vitamins. Like 50,000 iu (whatever that is) of Vitamin D. Ha.

I jump on my trusty reference. Otherwise known as the internet. I find that a deficiency of Vitamin D can cause heart disease, depression, Parkinson’s and other various nasty things. Including joint pain and muscle weakness, the symptoms are amazingly like what I’ve been feeling. So like a very good girl, I go get my medicine.

I only take one per week for 8 weeks. I’ve had my one yesterday and I already feel better. I scraped together enough concentration to cut out a top today and I actually am not in pain as I sit here. I mean my damn knees do. not. hurt. I am so thankful.

My husband was taking 1,000 iu Vitamin D3. I’m not sure if they’re still giving this to him, but I will check. Notice how Parkinson’s is listed as being caused by this deficiency. I’m hoping they are still doing this but I’ll make sure they do.

So there you are – a little trip to the doctor (my first for me in two years) and I actually get some advice and medicine/vitamins that will help me. I feel triple blessed. And if I can keep that nasty old gloom away, I’ll feel even better!


8 Comments Add yours

  1. Jennifer says:

    Oh boy do I know that – luckily my doctor figured out what was going on. Now that damn depression better be gone! My husband has a Parkinson’s-like disease – and you know since I started the Vitamin D I feel tons better. Thank. God.


  2. yanniesaurus says:

    Girl, do not seek answers on the internet! Googling illness can only lead to baaad things. My friend/family call me Nurse Google. I am horrible for it. Go to a GP and talk about all your issues – thats what you pay them for, my sweet. My grandfather has Parkinsons – he has had it for as long as I remember. He is a cane farmer and horse breeder – he spent days in the sun. You never know what causes things.


  3. suth2 says:

    Certainly not a sun lamp! Too many deadly results from solar tanning booths.


  4. Jennifer says:

    You know I thought about how little I’ve been outside this year – after all it’s either raining or blinking hot! I’m going to get out and start doing some walking – and cleaning up the yard. That may help too. It’s so weird because the neurologist said they think there’s a link between Parkinson’s and low Vitamin D. Well heck. I don’t want that – that’s for sure! When he was home he took a 1000 iu capsule of Vitamin D3 which is over the counter. That may be good for your daughter. I read somewhere where only 15 minutes on the hands is enough – but what do you do on those gray days?


  5. suth2 says:

    My daughter has just been diagnosed with Vitamin D deficiency and was told to get out in the sunshine more! I will need to check out prescribed vitamins.


  6. let it go when you have had enough till then it stays – i mean till you want to let self pity help you.


  7. Jennifer says:

    Thanks Indrajit – I’m thinking the depression is a chronic wallow in self-pity. Time for it to go!


  8. good that you made him cry and then – wow laugh – Jennifer you are an example for all of us – example of love, faith, endurance, loyalty,courage, hope, humour and all things good – the depression is like my cough allergies which neither my wife nor my kids when i visit them can stand ( ”you are going to bring the neighbours in and the house down,,, ssshhh), difficult to help alas – but we all love you and pray for you.


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