Yesterday’s Visit

I visited DH at the memory care unit yesterday. I hadn’t been there since the 3rd and I was feeling like it was too long. I had intended to get there Friday, but it was hot and I had grocery shopping to do. By the time I was done with that I needed a nap!

I found DH in his room and we went out to the dining room. For some reason all of the rooms are hot to me. DH doesn’t mind the heat at all but I almost die just walking in the room. If it were my room, I’d ask for an air conditioner. He’s always cold, as I know from trying to keep the oil bill at a reasonable rate of horrendously expensive.

When I walked into the nursing home, I noticed the hairdresser was in doing dos. She was on her way back to the Homestead unit so we went together to have her meet DH and schedule a hair cut for him. He was not thrilled as I have cut his hair for 35 years. It is a nice break for me because I’m not all that keen on haircutting!

We sat at a table and read the local newspaper together. It was almost like being at home. We didn’t need to talk, we just looked at the paper and I commented on stuff I thought was interesting from time to time.

His physical therapist came to get him for a session. Since he had the hair appointment at 11 am we stopped in the beauty shop and rescheduled it for 1130 so he could do his complete routine. DH is a man who loves to exercise! He walked 2 miles every other day since he retired 13 years ago today. He rode his bicycle whenever we lived somewhere where he had a place to ride and his stationary bike when he didn’t.

Robin was very good with him yesterday. He completed all his exercise routine and she found an AFO for him to try. It’s a leg brace that straps on and keeps his leg stationary from the sole of the foot to about his knee. I hope this helps because he does drag his right leg. We think he’s had another stroke since the one in 2010. They had said at the time that it wasn’t a stroke, but I think it was. Also when I took him to the hospital from HELL in an ambulance no less, it was because I thought he’d had a stroke. Once they found out he had CBD they didn’t even check him out at all. I want to keep him as healthy as possible. I do not want him to have a debilitating stroke. The nurse at the ER in the next visit a week later told me we were way outside the time period to treat anything. What did that mean exactly? Well, the doctor followed up with a question about what I hoped to gain from bringing him to the ER. What did I hope to gain??????? When I said I don’t want him to have another stroke the doctor said “What does it matter?” as if his life now is so bad just let him die. Well it’s not that bad. He can have many years of happiness if the healthcare system in the US will quit deciding when someone should just die and get it over with. God I hate ER doctors.

Robin and I were talking about his health and his progress, which she thinks is very good. DH started to cry again so Robin explained that everything we were talking about is good. I think he started to cry because he wants to talk too. And he can’t if we’re talking fast back and forth. I’m going to remember this so I give him a chance to put in his ideas. Not being able to communicate is the worst thing about his disease.

After the PT session he got his hair cut and I had a nice time with the hairdresser and him. Then it was back to the unit for lunch. I had been there 2 hours so I told him I’d be back in a couple of days and kissed him good-bye. He was pretty happy.

I think the anti-depressant is having a good effect for him and also he’s becoming used to his routine. It was SO helpful for me to see the therapy he’s getting and to recognize that these are all things that could have helped him here at home but which I couldn’t do. I’m glad he’s now getting some help and just wish I’d figured out how to get this accomplished earlier.

We go back to visit on Wednesday. It is the big cookout for residents and their families. That should be a great time for us.

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