Balance

niagara

Big bodies of water always remind me of balance. Maybe it’s because our bodies are largely water or it’s a primeval recognition of my source.

Balance is a component of enlightenment. Balance implies calmness, contentment and happiness. If any area of your life is causing you to pay more attention to it than others then imbalance is present and you must try to regain that fine balance that allows you to be present in every moment.

Several times over the last few days I have done things without recognizing I was doing them. Just the simple act of taking my medicine before bed causes me to stop and think a half hour or so later “Did I do that?” and I have to search my memory to see if I did.

There are more examples but the most important thing is that I am recognizing that I am not paying attention. I am not aware. I am not in the moment. Because I am recognizing my lack of balance, I can go pull myself out of wherever I am and get back to the moment. Where I belong and the only place there is to find life.

The folks at Big Shakti are offering classes online on how to remove stress from your life. Stress is a condition or habit that we become used to. I have known many people who, once the stress in their lives is gone, don’t know what to do. Relaxing, having fun, enjoying themselves are all foreign states to them. My husband is like that. Early in our marriage I recognized that he did not know how to have fun and that fun has never been a part of his life. This made him hard to live with because I like having fun and adventures and chilling. Once I went to a lake with a friend of mine and her daughter. My son, who was about 5 at the time, had the best day of his life. My friend’s boyfriend played catch with him and he got to splash about in the water. His dad, sadly, never took the time off work to play.

Since 1995 my life started to center around illness. Not mine, but that of my son and then my mother. And then a couple of years later, my husband’s mother. There was always some sort of emergency going on. There was always a phone call to make, a doctor’s appointment to keep, health to be regained or death to be welcomed. In 2000 I lost my Dad. He had been ill for a couple of years but no one gave us any clue as to what was causing his illness. I remember one doctor in Detroit who did a colonoscopy and an MRI and then said Dad didn’t need more tests. The doctor knew we were moving to Canada and we just went. Once there, Dad was active for a couple of months, helping to build two decks. By August he was sick and in December he died. He didn’t have long on the Island. And 48 years wasn’t long enough for me to have him.

Illness and death threw me out of balance. Luckily I was on the spiritual journey then too and I was able to realign myself through meditation. Over the years from 2000 to now I have progressed beyond imbalance most of the time. I am in a state where I recognize my lack of balance so that I can get it back.

One clue for me besides not remembering what I’ve done is an inner spring feeling. I feel myself winding up. I need only listen and chant with Krishna Das or on my own to unwind that spring. I am now so used to relaxing that I can relax in any situation.

I’ve mentioned before Meditation and Yoga Nidra. This guided meditation (bigshakti.com) trains you to not only relax while you are listening to it but also how to relax at any point during your day. Every method of relaxation involves controlled breathing. Breathing, bringing prana or the life-force into your body, calms your mind. After a time you will be able to step back from your stress, your thoughts and just witness them. Without the Witness – your soul – you continue in a spiral dance of stress and this leads to illness and sadness.

Being the primary caregiver for my husband has led me to question disease. Years ago Edgar Cayce described disease as dis-ease. A state of not being in ease. This speaks to me. I saw my mother, a woman who isolated herself from everyone angrily, become ill with a cancer that was not localized. It wasn’t a tumor but was a miasma around her lungs and heart. Cancer is a group of cells that form their own system of support, blood and tissue. They isolate themselves from the rest of the cells in the body and the only way to remove them is to either cut them out or kill off the regular, happy cells too. Mother didn’t have the choice of surgery. While she lived another 6 months, the experimental chemotherapy only hastened her death and made her life worse. I had asked her not to participate in this experimental chemo but she was sure this would cure her even though she’d been told there was no cure.

I don’t think that every disease is a result of our actions or inactions. I think disease is a sign of imbalance. Recognizing that state of balance in which you feel well and are in the present helps you to get back to it should you become imbalanced.

Having the habit of balance, knowing to spot the signs that you are not here now ———– these are by-products of meditation. A simple half-hour a day and you will balance and be here now. Life will blossom for you. And me.

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