Lucky Kitty Mug in Hand – Here I Go



Here’s the lucky kitty! Oh to be a kitty and not to have anything to worry about for 24 hours! Can anybody tell me what happened to WordPress – my posting page looks different. They shouldn’t do this to me – I’m pretty confused as it is.

We had quite a weekend. DH fell 4 times and each time it was harder to get him up. He scraped up his shin falling while coming upstairs from going to the toilet. DS had to lift him up in a backwards bear hug to get him on his feet. I thought he’d break his ribs. I then told DH he couldn’t go downstairs to the toilet anymore and guess what? An hour later he headed downstairs …………… such is dementia.

He had accidents twice on Sunday and I cleaned him up. It’s hard going because he can’t respond to commands. It takes him forever to figure out what I said.

I was up at 3 am on Saturday because he fell getting out of bed going to the bathroom. I got him up and to the bathroom. I couldn’t go back to sleep afraid he’d fall again. Sunday he fell again twice – once on the stairs and once in the bedroom. I can’t keep him upright. He has his walker but his stability and balance is gone. He can’t control his bowels or his bladder any more.

The kid went into a tizzy Sunday night – rampage would be a better word. Luckily he does it in his room and isn’t threatening but it is so upsetting. This is the second time in two months. He’s going to the doctor on Thursday.

Yesterday the hygiene lady came to help DH wash up. She noticed that he is dragging his right leg more and that he is less stable and very scared about falling again. She told me to call his neurologist. I did. The neurologist is on vacation until Jun 26 but his assistant called and left a message telling me to get him seen either by his primary care physician or an emergency room. Our PCP is out of the country on a family emergency. I talked to the lady at the nursing home and she said to take him to the ER because he has gotten so much worse.

I called the EMT because I can’t get him down the stairs and into the car and into the ER. When I got there the doctor – after about an hour – wanted to know what I hoped to achieve by bringing him to the ER. OMG. These people are totally obtuse. I told the doctor I was so sorry for bringing a sick man to an ER and I think he’s had a stroke or something. The doctor acted like so what? So I explained to him how many people had told me he needed to be seen – and I explained to him about our son and the immense pressure I am under what with a sick husband and a disabled child with a frustration level of about 0. I explained that DH has worsened considerably in the last week. That he can’t stand up – that he keeps falling – that he does not seem right.

So here we go again – they do tests – finally they gave him a CAT scan – I went to a different ER. I won’t go back to St. Joseph’s ER if they pay me.

I talked to a social worker – does anybody like these people or is it me? I find this officious bullshit annoying. Like she’s telling me there are resources I can use. Like I said the ER? Or resources where I have to fill out paperwork for eons and then answer a million questions and then maybe just maybe somebody will help? No thanks I told her I’ve been resourced up the ass.

We were in the hallway for three hours and finally DH messed himself and I told the nurses – for about an hour – before somebody got the idea. They were going to take him to XRay and I said he needs to be cleaned up. I thought they were going to make me do it again. Really. So finally they clean out a room someone had just left and put him in there and cleaned him up. Then we sat in that room until 1030 with people coming in and out taking him for a CT scan and what not. I finally asked at 9 pm if he could have some food. I found out looking at his head that the shingles are breaking out again. No wonder he was fussing with his head. Also he had been really hot – I think that was the shingles coming on. They started him on the antiviral meds.

At 10 pm I noticed that at some point DH had pulled the IV from his arm. Jeeeez so I pulled the nurse button and finally he came. He said they are just waiting on the admitting doctor. So I said you’re going to admit him? And he said yes he thought I knew that. So I said – well I need to go home to check on my son and I’ve been up since 5 am so I’m going to leave him with you. DH was NOT pleased. I’ve sort of gotten over whether or not he’s pleased – he has to go with the program and recognize that I am only one tiny human person. Well maybe not tiny but I still need sleep.

Last night was the first night I have slept in over a year. I slept until 8:48 and usually I get up at 5 am – this was good. I called everybody I knew to call – I called the nurse’s station but I haven’t heard back yet and I need to take a shower and get back to the hospital.

As I was writing this the caseworker from the hospital called. They are taking DH to the nursing home after lunch. The nursing home has agreed to accept him so I guess the MaineCare is all good at this point.

The nurse called me and said DH is giggling whenever she asks him questions. He doesn’t know what year it is and is pleasantly confused. He doesn’t know where he is. Ah – let me tell you all I am seriously relieved. I am so relieved I feel giddy. I will not have to try to keep him safe and argue with him about everything. I am set free. Now to deal with all the other problems – in the moment – always in the moment.



13 Comments Add yours

  1. Jennifer says:

    Reblogged this on A Little Fluff and commented:

    Another post from the day I took him to the ER once again ………. finally, they understood how far I was going to go. That day was it. I am not sure why our healthcare system is so obtuse, but somebody needs to start getting this right. No one, no caregiver, should need to go through this.


  2. dinnerbysusan says:

    So frightening what our loved ones go through as the body (and the medical system) fail. He is very lucky to have you.


  3. Jennifer says:

    I hate it when they do things like change colors on me – I was looking for the button I pushed too! God how I fight change! Have a good night!


  4. Jennifer says:

    Boy I feel like I have no bones! The relief is amazing. It is nice to see my son once again being optimistic too.


  5. suth2 says:

    So good to hear that your husband was accepted into the home. Even better was hearing that you had a good night’s sleep. You will be ready to tackle anything else the world has to throw at you although I believe you have had more than your share! 🙂


  6. No it’s not weird to feel like your bones are gone. You have been carrying so much tension in your body that once you were able to let go…no more bones. You’ll get back to normal in awhile. Good luck.


  7. I’m so glad it’s over for you, at least for now. Truly…what a terrible thing for all of you to go through. You can sleep and regroup. I’m so happy that you mentioned the change in the face of our wordpress stuff. I thought I hit a button or something and it all turned black and weird. LOL thanks for that:) Hope you had a good day.


  8. Jennifer says:

    Thank you for being there Gigi. I totally do not know what I would have done without you and WP. His deterioration was so fast this past week. I feel like I don’t have any bones in my body anymore. Is that weird?


  9. Finally! I’m so happy for ALL of you. A night’s sleep will make you better able to cope with the stuff you have to do today. Happy this is over for you.


  10. Jennifer says:

    She’s so adorable – my Maggie the Cat!


  11. Jennifer says:

    Thank you for being there – I love my WP friends. I will make it. The huge haul up the mountain is done.


  12. and kitty is a beauty – sent as a spirit to comfort


  13. your courage is remarkable – you must be a soul that has agreed to ultimate tests – our prayers are with you.


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