I am grateful for ……

I am grateful for Rhonda – the RN from our home healthcare agency who came today to do intake on whatshisface. Whatshisface however, is in the dog house. I began telling him to take a shower at 9:30 am. It is now 1:05 pm. He has been in the bathroom for the last hour doing I know not what. He spent 2 hours in there doing I know not what earlier. He has not taken a shower.

Rhonda explained to him that he has to help himself and cooperate. Well that will be the first goddamn time in his 74 years on the planet. He floored me with the evil eye when I was trying to get him shaved. You know what – he can look at the nursing home staff that way – me, I need to be shut of this crap. In more ways than one.

So he’s going to have a social worker (she will probably run screaming into the night afraid of old men from Latvia) and an occupational therapist for something and a physical therapist and a hygiene aide and a speech therapist, etc. Me, I get time away from his nasty old ass. I need lots of time away from him – like ah permanently.

Anybody who has to take care of someone who is old, stubborn, ignorant and sick knows what I mean. It is not like it makes my life happy to scream at him to take a goddamn shower already. I personally could care if he didn’t sleep in the same room. He could wallow in his own filth for days. Actually I’m going to work that out today – he’s going to move to the back room and I will inflate the aerobed and he can sleep on that. It’s high enough. He can hang there and I won’t have to see him or smell him. That’s cool.

We’re probably going to get this help stuff started tomorrow. I certainly hope so because I think I can be arrested for beating the shit out of an old man. Probably but I swear to God if he doesn’t take a shower now he’ll stay in there until he does. Permanently. Enough of the crap already. I asked him what in the hell he was doing in there for an hour – he said just waiting – yeh waiting for me to say oh you can skip it. Ha.

I’m not living like this anymore. As I said before, if I have to leave I will leave. I will not do this the rest of his life or mine. He can either do what he’s supposed to do or I walk. Period. Full stop.

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